Irene Soléa

Freedom in Choice

A good friend got engaged recently to a great woman with whom he shares a beautiful love, and was expounding on the revelations that led to his popping the question after four years of dating and some cold feet. “I could spend the rest of my life single and doing the whole ‘exciting’ thing of continuously ’searching for my soul mate’ and that would be fun, I guess. But I want a family and that trumps the adventures of single life. And now that I’m getting married, it’s like a whole other set of new adventures are ahead of me, that I didn’t have before.”

I looked around at the beautiful life he had begun co-creating with his partner- beyond their pretty home and the veggie meals and the cute motorcycles in the driveway (I may just have been inspired to purchase a pink scooter)- I was struck by the sincere warmth on his face as he spoke of their future together. Travel, children, romance and exploration, among other things. My previously cold-footed friend was the most FREE person I had seen in MONTHS.

(Incidentally, I love those friends who you can know for years and all of a sudden -BAM!- they give you some juicy bit of insight and you’re reminded of why you became friends with them in the first place.)

Sure, it can be scary to open yourself up to another person. So many of us are full of fear:

of heartbreak,
of failure,
of commitment,
of the
unknown.

I know that I’ve at one time or another felt all of these things…even in my current relationship. In fact, I’ve been über-negative in my relationship lately, just a real drag. This blog entry is officially me owning up to it. But what struck me about my friend’s words was the perhaps not novel idea that commitment can actually introduce greater adventure, passion, and depth into one’s life. I’m not just talking about relationships, either. Sometimes the mere act of pro-actively making a CHOICE in your life, of intentionally carving your path regardless of how scary it may feel, can bring with it great freedom and opportunity. I’m as guilty as the next person of sometimes, in certain areas, letting life just happen to me as if frozen by fear. But in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “The future belongs to those that believe in the beauty of their dreams.”